About love, family and relationships

“You should live skillfully, you should live playfully…” (words from one popular song)

Researcher, scientist- physicist and president of the international Institute of Social Ecology Vyacheslav Gubanov is convinced that our life in society flows under the same strict laws as the natural laws of physics. The knowledge of these laws allows one to regulate own life, making it easier and more interesting. Finding the explanation to everything that happens to people is one of the main goals of those who work in the Institute. It is the main reason why the web page is called: Lifexpert.com. Starting from this issue Vyacheslav Gubanov will be writing a column for us under Lifexpert.

The first topic from the Lifexpert is Love, Family and Relationships between people.

I can feel, thus I am alive!

Laws that people follow during their life can vividly demonstrate the ways they interact with each other. The following picture is a great way to illustrate these laws. For example the law of feeling is the basis of love. As you can see the power of interaction between the source X1 and receiver X2 does not depend on the distance between them. It only depends on the level of their correspondence between each other.

Picture 1. The law of “feeling”

First of all, this law illustrates the phenomenon of maternal love which is unconditional (picture 2). Mother can never, under any circumstances allow a thought that her child is bad, even if everyone is saying it and the child is really “a lost cause”! From the time of birth she nurtures a child with her human Aura, constantly refilling its reserve no matter where the child is. Even when she recalls in her memory the child’s image, she really catches the feeling from her own energy that is wrapped around the child. Just like she would be looking in the mirror! She can surely see herself and her own illusions. She values them more than anything in the world and will not allow anyone to destroy them!

Picture 2. “Maternal” (unconditional) love

One of course can ask: “according to what law, there are mothers who don’t really love their children or even abandon them?” It does happen sometimes and it is a phenomenon that needs special explanation. The thing is that sometimes a male can become the energy source of the childbirth process. His energy is being subsidized to the energy deficient female. The energy is needed and it is the main condition of the child conception and the development of the fetus inside women’s womb. In this case mother takes roll of a “transport” that delivers the baby to the world. The baby is born from “fa-mother or pa-ma” (father and mother in one person (papa+mama), however father is primary!). There is no surprise that a woman feels alienation toward the child. The child is not hers! Nevertheless, the child starts to feed from her body, and the child needs the energy as well! In that case she will not only stop loving her child, but she will begin to hate him or her. Thus not every woman can become a true mother. In this case, the mother’s “job” is actually carried out by the father!

Almost 80% of first newborns inherit genetic line of the father, second child in the family inherits “the mother's” genetic line, third one inherits non of the parents – the child if of Holy Spirit! He or she is on its own, the child does not get anything from the parent's genetic line. Fourth child is an “extra player” on the father’s field, fifth is an “extra” on the mother’s field. What does it mean? – They can potentially grow into taking the role of one of the parents. However, they will not be able to use their potential to the fullest, until the first representative of genetic line is present. Only after the death of the parents, the fourth and fifth child begin to show the world their own “data”. The sixth child is just like the third, the child is genetically neutral – and so forth. The life of the ones “multiple by three” of course is harder than the life of others: some call them stupid and no one understands them (In Russian fairy tales the third child is usually the main character and everyone calls him stupid)…

The first and second child depend on their parents so much, that if the parents are energy abundant the life is easier, and if parents are energy deficient the life of descendants is full of serious problems… If you remember in ancient history there were many examples of characters that ate their children!?

Children maintain strong connection on the energy level with their parents until the age of 21. After that, the Nature does not provide any kindred connection: that’s it – they are just average acquaintances! It is important to let go the children on time and sometimes even push over from the “nest” just like a bird pushes the nestlings that have already fledged and need to learn how to fly. If this is not done, they become infantile, and we become responsible for those who we didn’t let go to fly on their own. One has to live by the laws that are as much as possible and close to the laws of Nature – then everything will happen on time, beautifully and happily. The ideological mind set of a happy life (the law of 4-Ts) states: Do only Those things, a that Time, in That way and with Those people, when everything is easy, merry and fast!”. Knowledge and execution of this natural law allows to forget about heroic efforts in peaceful times. It also allows to not spend energy resources in vain. The road of life should be easy: it is the right sign when life is effortless, natural and right. If you are on the hard road of life, it means that you don’t understand something. It can also mean that this road is there specifically for the purpose of you paying off the debts, after which in the foreseeable future the situation will change for the best and everything will be great!

Michael Zhvanezkiy (famous Russian comedian) once made a very wise statement : “Courage and heroism of some is the outcome of bugling and non competence of others!” People are not born to suffer. A person is a part of Nature, and in Nature (look around) nothing is created for suffering. One just has to know how to single out his own problems among the mass of others and then start to work on solving them. Do not try to solve the assignments for all in the class throughout your life! But how to understand which is yours and which is not? There is a law of 3rd arrival: “What flows to you – do not push away, what flows away – do not hold on to it – with the condition that it happens three times” (Third Time’s the charm!). It’s a fundamental law of human relationships. The Nature always warns us and does it benevolently. It will show the “emergency exits”, which are usually present in the “tunnel” of hard life, through which it is possible to get “to the top”. Just look up and around you more carefully!

No miracles! (“Miracle is the occurrence the Nature of which is not known to the observer”). The real life is lived under exact laws. If you know these laws, everything quickly fits into place. If something is “flowing” to your hands, it is better to reject the first desire to take it and make it your own. Reject the temptation for the second time – maybe it is not yours… But if it appeared for the third time during the short period of time, then it is Faith!

What should one do if something or better to say someone is trying to leave “your shore”? First of all remember that “Love cannot be forced”. Secondly, suggest to begin negotiations, but not more than three times. After that, switch to the reality mode, allow the person to leave quietly and give up your illusions without any regret.

If I made you up…..

From Nature’s stand point, beautiful wedding does not guarantee the stability of the family. When there is respect, cooperation and playfulness between the spouses, then their love is mature and long to live. (If of course one of them does not get a “glitch”). Unfortunately it happens very rarely. The crisis in five years of mutual live happens in most families. It means that illusions of one spouse regarding the other one came to the collision with the reality – and led to a burst. “Beaten” becomes the one who did not dodge the mark of illusions on time: no body asked him if he agrees to fully meet all expectations!

All qualities of the partner are fully revealed in five years. The question of – “Are we ready to take the truth?” – arises. If not, we begin the search of another subject, whom we are also ready to mark with illusions! Of course, love is not a subject of the mind, however it has different type of Nature and quite specific characteristics: fatherly, motherly, mad (sacrificial)… The later usually happens with the young, mature can happen to the older generation. If partners connected in “mad” youthful love, they usually cannot pass to the second level, which is offered by more mature feeling which is based on cooperation and respect. That is why early marriages usually fall a part. Smooth evolution does not usually happen in his case – it could only be radical, revolutionary break with destruction of the previous connection and birth of the new one.

Of course, there are no rules without exceptions, but even they prove the rule. And the rule is that “teenage” marriages usually happen between couples in which one person is energy deficient, and the other one is energy abundant. The second one feeds energy to the first one, and tries to bring him to his ideal at the same time. In doing so he unconsciously destroys the personality of his “karmic” chosen one. (he who pays gets to dance with the girl...) The other one either refuses the absolute submission, or in the end, finds the strength to fight for the right to be oneself. In our fast times social relations evolve rapidly. It took decades to think them over before – today five years is enough for most people! That is why the methods of marriage stabilization that used to be progressive, turn out to be inadmissible in most cases today. In five years people and their relationships change so much that the only things left that connect them are mutual property and their kids.

It is natural, and to fight against Nature is senseless. It just has to be accepted as any occurrence of Nature. Just like rain in January: yes, it is very unpleasant – but you can’t change rain to snow just by your own wish!

Actions of laws of Nature, which involve family, are sometimes harsh, but one has to know these laws, so he can see what will happen next to us and our children.

So, lets’ think of a situation when parents do not love each other any more, but decided to stay together: it is important to raise a child in “full” family. In most cases they do “more harm than good” to the child, by harming his subconscious everyday. He can see with his own eyes that family life is either war which is openly fought by the parents, or constant lie when they don’t talk to each other pretending that everything is alright. But it is very cold at home! And it does much more harm than truthful life with one of the parents, when the child can see the other parent from time to time. The truth in any case is better than the lie! If after the break-up the parents were able to quietly end their relationships and not leave any aggression in their souls for each other, then this is the best thing that they could have done for the child and for themselves.

According to social laws, court usually leaves the child with the mother and that is not always good. And sometimes even tragic! If energy abundant child remains with energy deficient mother he is in the trap. He rarely meets the father to replenish the energy through him and the mother back home sucks out the acquired energy. The process can be seen through the results in school. We suggest to teachers, on which days they should call on the child to answer during the class so he can receive good grades and raise his self-esteem. These are the days after his meeting with the father! After three days, the child is different: aggressive, sleepy, and lazy to learn material. In the situation when his mother is finishing eating him, there is no concern for education!

“If I was a sultan…” (famous phrase from one Russian movie)

Some people are described as unlucky in personal life. Sometimes they come to us for help. We measure their personal characteristics that give us the answer to: “Why?”. Sometimes, for example, it turns out that a person is a “hierarch” that has a powerful Spirit, and he is trying to live his life as a regular person! This attempt is doomed. He can’t fit into general rules, they have to be different for him. Find out about the rules, know and live by them and you will be happy. Everything is simple! You can’t fit an elephant in to a pizza box! Let us think of a main worldly “Christian” law: one woman for one man. The similar law for Muslim, allows man to have up to four wives, with condition that he can give same attention to each one, provide equal material opportunities and many more things, that in the end you remember the end of the famous song: “If I was a sultan, I would be single!”.

As they say, one has to always pay for pleasure. But it (the pleasure) is possible to obtained it by some of our own fellow countrymen, especially by the ones who are rich. They willingly start two families and support them, and thus they break the social norms. To withstand the pressing of such force is not enough to only be rich , there has to be strong will and powerful Spirit. However even for those that have plenty everything it is sometimes very hard to go against the mentality and traditional standards environment. Once a person described above turned to us for help. He had two families: in one of them he had two sons, in another one he had a daughter. He is constantly at work, and if he is going for a business trip – this means that he is leaving his “official” family and is going to his second family for some time. After fifteen years of such existence the situation started to be impossible to manage. One time his friend saw him coming out from a different house in their home town (right at the time when he was supposed to be on the “business trip”). And then two of his sons while walking around our great city went to a store and met and then became friends with a girl – the daughter of the store owner. Similar things are drawn to each other. This store was bought for unofficial wife by their father, and the girl they met was their sister. “The Lord works in a mysterious ways”. The situation became sensible to the limit! It does not matter that each family had enough attention, and lived on the fat of the land. In any case – it was against the rules! “According to the rules” two women had to fight each other all their life and try to prove that one is closer than the other, more important and more loved. And the real wife can be only one, the other one is just a mistress! And according to the Muslim law everything works out just fine! He feeds energy through the second young wife, and gives part of it to the first one. And from the first one he receives intellectual charge, which he partially gives to the young wife. From the stand point of energy-informational exchange it is an ideal family! The Nature itself created for them this optimal and only possible model. And what is created by Nature should not be destroyed! If it would have happened, then he and his “older” wife would be in the state of “energy collapse”: fights, sicknesses and finally the family would come to an end. If he would have stayed with the second one – it could have led to the death of the first one without the energy feeding possibility. We instantly realized that everything should be left the way it is, even if it violates generally accepted family views. Luckily we were able to convince all participants that it is not only the best but the only possible solution. By the way, it totally corresponds with another law of life: do not interrupt the natural flow of events, through the use of powerful efforts of the will. Nothing good would come out of it: Nature is stronger than any rule that was created by humans.

In addition, statistics states that we actually have to be more tolerant to the Muslim model of marriage. The results of sociological research in 1999 show that for one man of working age (from 25 till 60 years of age) there are 150 women! And each one is trying to get a chance to settle her life the way that she feels right. Conclusion: “Do not judge, or you too will be judged!”

“The Emperor’s new clothes!…”, “The kings is naked..!”

Human interrelationships is a very thin cloth with its own “pleats” and “twists”. One has to see the cloth and know it. Do you remember the naked emperor in Anderson’s tale “Emperor’s new cloth”? We were imposed by the naive childish perception of the problem described by Anderson! The emperor actually ordered foreign foreman so they will make him extremely lively thin clothes. He hoped that other people would understand and value what he did, but they didn’t …

So we just like that emperor sometimes think that if we can vividly see something then others can see it too. That’s not a fact! The special training is needed for that, and for that training people turn to us. We actually work with the “emperor’s thin clothes” and help people to understand each other and be understood correctly. “I would never believe if I didn’t see it with my own eyes” and “Real life use is the criteria of the truth!”

Only in flight can planes live

The life of a person that does not know the laws that we just talked about is just like a blind flight in the clouds on autopilot: you can’t see anything, it can suddenly get into turbulence and be thrown from left to right. The influence of the wind is impossible to measure. The prospect is usually really gloomy, there will be a crash. That is if we do not know how to use the navigation panel and there are no radio beacons.

Gradually by learning the laws according to which the Nature suggests the life should be we get out of the clouds and start flying where the sky is clear and there is no chance of storm. We can also calmly observe other participants of the “flight”, and at the same time we can correct our position in the air space if needed. We can even do “TOP GUN” performances if needed!

In the situation when the clouds are still there, you can still turn on high frequency radio radar and with its help see through the clouds… The radar for a human is his right intuitive and creative hemisphere. We teach how to turn it on so it is possible to see the objective information through the “clouds” of our illusions that try to hide it. And if in the end the person discovers the third dimension – the knowledge of Spiritual and Natural laws of life - he receives a chance to finally fly above the vanity, and leave behind all destructive obsessions and sicknesses. This is a feeling of a free flight and it cannot be compared to anything! With it comes the excitement of life and all the problems with health disappear, and there is no use of any medical drugs, coding or any other rough material influences.

President of the International Social Ecology Institute
V.V. Gubanov special for magazine "Lady time"